


Forgive me, for I have sinned

by Galactic_Ink



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Mention of attempted rape, Religious Content, Sex in a Church, Slight RusPru, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 02:21:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11887872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galactic_Ink/pseuds/Galactic_Ink
Summary: Ivan is in need of guidance and Alfred is just the priest for the job.





	Forgive me, for I have sinned

**Forgive me, for I have sinned**

 

Ivan could feel his skin prickling with nervous energy, his palms becoming clammy, and his heart rate increasing. He looked up with slightly fearful eyes at the church ahead of him. He only stood at the bottom of the stairs and yet he felt like he was burning. He was a wreck, a wretched soul, a tortured soul, and his Catholic guilt was eating him alive. He stared at the massive castle like building, wondering if he could just back out and pretend nothing ever happened, but he knew full well that it would not work out. It hadn't been working out for the past week, let alone the whole month when it all began.

He sighed deeply, the weight of his sins squeezing him just a little tighter. He balled up his hands with determination and marched up the church steps. His legs felt like lead with each step, but he kept on, passing through the ornate doors, avoiding eye contact with the Virgin Mary and other saints, and definitely staying clear of Christ himself as he weaved his way to the confession booth. For a short moment, he did look up to see if a priest was nearby to assist him in his needs. Lucky for him that such a vessel of God was present right when he looked up. A young blonde haired man with brilliant blue eyes behind glasses. The priest was dressed in traditional black robes with a white collar and cross around his neck. The priest took note of Ivan almost instantly and gave a nod as Ivan darted his eyes towards the confession booth.

The two made their way over casually and slipped inside with ease. Both seated on plush red velvet seats with a wooden wall between them. The only view of each other was through an iron grate that was latched shut. Nothing was said for a while, Ivan licked his lips nervously and laced his fingers together. The priest eyed Ivan through the grate finding himself unable to look away, though he knew he needed to. There was something about Ivan that had the priest hold his gaze.

"Father," Ivan started, snapping the priest from his trance.

"Yes, my son? What troubles you?"

Ivan took a shaky breath and the priest tried to keep his eyes forward.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have… committed terrible sins."

The priest gave a hum to this.

"What could you have done to warrant such a claim…?" The priest trailed off, promoting Ivan for his name.

"Ivan, is my name, and I mean by what I say…I… I can't tell you outright Father, it's just—"

"Ivan," The priest interrupted, a soft smile on his face as he tested out the name. There was something about it that he really liked. "It's alright. There is no rush. Take your time."

Ivan nodded his head and the priest smiled wider.

"I… It started a month ago… I had gone to work as normal, but when I had… I knew something was different. Across from my desk there had always been an empty one. I work at a publishing firm and I knew we needed new hires, but I never thought we would get any, but that day… we got one."

The priest gave a hum to urge Ivan to continue. The priest had a feeling where Ivan was going with his tale, a classic "the new coworker is a hot female who I want so badly I'd do anything". The priest had heard it so often he was too annoyed to count them. He was honestly a bit disappointed in Ivan if his sin was just like the others. Ivan seemed so different from the other men and women that came to him for guidance. Defiantly different in looks….

"Father?"

The priest snapped out his thoughts and cleared his throat.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"It's alright," Ivan said simply then went on to repeat himself. "I said, the new hire was a man. His name is Gilbert."

The priest perked up instantly his eyes darting to see Ivan's face through the grate.

"Was he someone you had crossed previously?" The priest asked curious.

"No. I never met him before in my life, but… as he introduced himself and sat in front of me…. I wanted to know everything about him."

The priest was now thoroughly interested in the so called "terrible sins" that Ivan had committed.

"That is nothing to fret over, Ivan. It's natural to want to get to know someone new," The priest advised and Ivan just scoffed.

"Father—"

"Call me Alfred, if you don't mind," the priest said with a friendly tone.

Ivan was hesitant, but he figured that having some familiarity with the priest would help him overcome his sin.

"Alfred… I had thought the same in the beginning, but came to find out that it was not the case," Ivan said. "I... I found myself getting close to Gilbert almost instantly. I talked to him about anything just so he _could_ talk to me, so I _could_ have his attention." Ivan's voice took on a sad tone and Alfred peeked through the grate to see a shameful expression on Ivan's face.

"Go on, my son."

"Alfred, I… can't tell you everything upfront, like I said before, but for right now… I want to say that I followed Gilbert once. At work I followed him to the bathroom. I waited outside for a while before going in… I… Oh God…"

"It's alright, no judgment is being made here Ivan," Alfred said assuringly though it was a lie. Alfred had his judgments and they were itching at him. Alfred had to bite the inside of his cheek as he felt his lower half seem to stir just slightly.

"I… I saw him using the urinal and I took the one next to him. _Right_ next to him, I wasn't even thinking, I just did it and then I… I looked over at him. He didn't notice, but I looked and… and I didn't look away for a while," Ivan confessed, his voice sounding strained.

"Did he catch you?" Alfred asked trying to keep his composure as he heard Ivan's confession.

"No, he just finished up and left and I did the same. We didn't talk or anything, but I just feel so dirty and that isn't even the worst of it!" Ivan stated, his voice rising a bit in frustration.

Alfred was taken aback by the strength in Ivan's voice, a chill running down his spin and somewhere else further south. He coughed roughly, clearing his throat and his suddenly impure mind.

"Ivan, I can tell you are going through something very troubling, but I assure you it will be fine. I know you still have more to say, but I believe here is a good place to stop." Ivan nodded in agreement and looked up at the grate to see Alfred looking at him with reassuring eyes. "I'll know what to tell you—what God wants to tell you, once your confession is complete, but for right now I will let you know this: There isn't an explanation for everything we do. We act, and all we can do is learn from it. I know it isn't much, but I hope it helps for now."

Ivan sat silently, mulling over the advice, then nodded his head.

"Yes, yes it was helpful, and I look forward to next time. I… I've been struggling Father and I just need… this," Ivan said as he gestured to his surroundings. Alfred nodded in understanding.

"Good, then I shall see you when you are ready. 'Til then, may God be with you and help you with your burdens."

"Thank you Father."

**:/:/:/:/:**

As the days passed Ivan's visits to the confession booth increased, which only caused Alfred's heart rate to increase. To say that the priest was struggling would be a mild way to put it. Alfred, in all meaning of the word, wanted Ivan. The first moment he saw Ivan an all too familiar feeling started to burn in his chest and as he listened to his confession that day he felt hopeful. Hopeful that he could help Ivan with his demons as well as embrace them to fit his own needs. He knew it was wrong, but my God Ivan was attractive, and that attraction only got stronger over the passing days.

Alfred began to look forward to Ivan's confessions twice a week. The man had a lot to answer for: following and spying on Gilbert on more than one occasion. Monopolizing Gilbert's time to become close and friendly. Having urges to hold Gilbert, to kiss him, to make him his. It was a lot to take in, but it was plain as day as to what Ivan's problem was. Alfred reserved any true advice though until the big confession occurred, which judging by the look of weary confidence on Ivan's handsome face, might be today.

"Excuse me Father Arthur, Ivan is here," Alfred said as he rose from his seat at the altar.

"No problem Father Alfred. You've been doing great work with him," the man said with a smile. "I need to get home anyhow. Lock up when you're done."

Alfred nodded as he smiled back and bid the head of the church goodbye before going to the confession booth. He took his seat within the wooden box and waited for the accented voice that he'd come to love.

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Today…. Today I'm ready to tell you the worst of my sins. The reason I had started all this," Ivan said.

Alfred had a small smile come to his face and pressed a hand onto his crotch.

"Tell me Ivan, so you may have rest."

"At the end of the month, when Gilbert had been with the company for nearly three weeks… I offered to take him out for a drink. He accepted and I was excited. When we got to that bar after work…. I got him wasted, challenged him to a drinking game and got him to let down his guard. I then took him to his place and…" Ivan trailed off seeming to collect himself, and Alfred peered through the grate to get a look at his troubled face. It was adorable. Alfred wished he could have taken a picture, wished he could break the barrier between them.

Alfred bit the inside of his cheek as he pressed his palm roughly into his hardened cock. He wanted to ask Ivan what he had done, wanted details on what he had done, but didn't push. He waited, rubbing his cock all the while as he let his imagination fill in the blanks.

"I... I took him to his place and I put him on his bed. He was so defenseless… I, leaned down to kiss him. I used tongue and everything and his drunk self couldn't even react. I started to kiss him all over, his face, his chest, his stomach… I undressed him, but when I saw that he wasn't hard like I was... I snapped out of it." Ivan gave another long pause before saying, "I almost raped him Alfred. I wanted him so badly that I almost raped him."

Alfred sat in silence, though not of his choice. The hand he had on his cock was squeezing him perfectly, and if he wasn't biting his lip to keep quite then a moan would slip out.

"I'm the scum of the earth. My sins will never be forgiven," Ivan said sadly as he put his head in his hands. "I fell in love with a man for the first time. I obsessed over him, I touched myself to him, and I nearly raped him," Ivan rambled, his voice getting shaky.

Alfred perked up at hearing this and lessened his hold on his cock.

"Ivan," he started slowly, trying to keep his voice steady. "Your sins are not as unforgivable as you think."

"What do you mean?" Ivan asked.

"Ivan, during the time you have visited me, I see now what has transpired here. It is not a sin to fall in love. To have homosexual affections is not a sin. It's only believed that it is because of misguided information and narrow mindedness," Alfred informed. "You may think it's wrong, but it truly is not. You felt something new, something you didn't understand until it began to consume you, but you realized this just in time, did you not?"

"…Yes… but… I almost—"

"Ah, yes, that is sinful, but you recognized your actions and prevented it from getting any worse. You have repented for this act of aggression, I know you have, and the Lord forgives you Ivan."

"Really?" Ivan asked, surprised.

"Yes." Alfred assured with a smile on his face. "You have found a new door for yourself, and I just happen to know the way. Ivan, I understand your urges, your desires, far more than you know. It was a good thing you picked me to confess to."

"Father Alfred… Are you saying you…" Ivan trailed off, his nervousness not allowing him to finish.

"Like men?" Alfred supplied with a confident tone, and looked through the grate to see Ivan staring back. "Yes, I do, and yet I serve the Lord. Being the way I am is no sin Ivan, and you shouldn't feel ashamed of your urges." Alfred said then with a smirk on his lips he added, "If you want to be at peace with them, then come into my side of the booth."

Ivan stared at Alfred wide eyed, unable to form a word. His mind was buzzing with thoughts and confusion, and yet… he found himself rising to his feet. He pulled back the curtain on his side of the booth and stepped out. He took a deep breath as he tried to clear his head. He didn't know what to do. He was nervous and uncertain, and Alfred's words were digging into him.

"Are you sure about this Father? Not to question God, but are you sure that this isn't a sin?" Ivan asked.

"I am positive, my son. If it wasn't then I am sure that God Almighty would have struck me down by now," Alfred said.

Ivan let out a deep breath before turning and walking into the priest's side of the booth. There he saw Alfred lounging in his seat, cock hard under his black robes.

"Come here Ivan," Alfred beckoned.

Ivan stepped into the small space and sat beside Alfred on the bench seat. Alfred turned to him and placed a hand on his strong jaw and smiled at him with hunger in his eyes.

"Are you ready to truly repent for you sins and give your soul rest?" Alfred asked, allowing Ivan to back out.

Ivan licked his lips and leaned forward, his face a mere inch from Alfred's.

"Yes, I am."

Alfred smiled more, but let it slip away quickly as he got closer. His lips brushed against Ivan's as he said, "Then let us pray."

At that moment Alfred closed the gap, kissing Ivan firmly. The sensation was intoxicating. Alfred felt a burst of warmth from his chest, as if his heart really did explode as he kissed Ivan. The man's lips were so soft and _Lord_ the way he moved his tongue made Alfred's eyes roll back. He moaned into the kiss and moved his hands to cradle Ivan's face. Ivan found himself leaning into those hands, leaning closer to the inviting body beside him. He felt like he was in heaven as he made out with the priest, but a small part of him disagreed. He felt like more of a sinner than he did before. He felt like getting to his knees and begging for forgiveness, but that was just a small part of him. A small part that Alfred wiped out easily when he trailed his hand down to Ivan's crotch and squeezed the bulge there.

"God you're big," Alfred said breathless. "The Lord really blessed you."

Ivan blushed at the comment and felt his cock twitch in response. He looked down to see Alfred undoing his pants and shivered as his cock was freed from his jeans and boxers. Alfred ogled Ivan's cock, taking in it's impressive length and girth with amazed blue eyes. He licked his lips, wondering if he should take the time to thoroughly enjoy Ivan, but then again he really wanted to get to the main event. He bit his lip as he gave a few experimental strokes and listened to Ivan's moans.

"Alfred, please," Ivan said, unsure of what he was begging for.

"Patience is a virtue, Ivan," Alfred said then pulled his hand back. "Stand here," he instructed, pointing to the space between his legs.

Ivan nodded and got to his feet, moving into position. Alfred raised his legs up, trapping Ivan between him and the wall in the small booth. Ivan swallowed thickly as he looked at Alfred, the priest's face was flushed pink and had "want" written all over it. Ivan cautiously placed his hands on the thighs around him, surprised at how plush they were. He squeezed them gently then moved to push up the robe, but stopped. He felt unease and Alfred could sense it.

"It's alright Ivan. You can do whatever you wish. We are both consenting adults."

Ivan nodded and hesitantly pushed up the black material. Once he got it over Alfred's knees it fell down to his waist, exposing the erection straining in black boxers briefs. Ivan felt his mind go blank at seeing it. He never thought he'd get this far, never thought he'd see something so amazing. He found himself dropping to his knees, Alfred's legs now resting on his shoulders, and moved forward to bury his face against Alfred's clothed erection.

"Oh Lord have mercy," Alfred muttered, his heart nearly giving out from seeing Ivan do such a thing.

Ivan felt a fog fill his head, and all he wanted was Alfred. All he wanted was to taste the man that had saved him, hold the man that had listened to him, make love endlessly to the man that gave him peace.

Ivan mouthed Alfred's cock through his underwear, making Alfred twitch and moan. He used a hand to eventually pull the boxer briefs down, exposing more tan flesh and a throbbing cock. Ivan felt his own cock jump at the sight and he buried his face into it. He sniffed Alfred's cock, placed kisses on his thighs and cock, and then licked his entrance. Alfred gave praise as he felt Ivan tongue him open, the wet muscle making him feel things that he hadn't in years.

"Praise be to the Lord!" Alfred shouted as Ivan stuck an experimental finger into his ass.

Ivan found the reaction interesting and worked his finger in deeper. He added a second to allow more room for his fingers to explore, and eventually came across a bundle of nerves that had Alfred jolting and moaning Ivan's name.

"That's it!" Alfred cried as he felt the familiar bliss of pleasure rack his body.

Ivan kept hitting the nerves, making Alfred almost cum right then and there, but he removed his fingers just in time. Ivan didn't want things to end just yet, especially when he hadn't gotten any attention. He knew what he needed to do, and lubed up his cock with spit and the precum dribbling out of Alfred. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing and put the head of his cock to Alfred's ass.

"Yes, yes, oh God yes," Alfred practically sang as he felt the pressure of Ivan's cock on him.

Those words were all Ivan needed to go ahead and push inside. It took a bit of effort, but he managed to get all of himself into Alfred, which had the priest twitching and clawing at the red velvet seat. There was only a minute of rest before Ivan started to thrust eagerly into Alfred. He held the priest's legs in the crook of his arms as he slammed his cock into him over and over and over. All Alfred could do was scream, moan, and shout praise to god, the holy trinity, and Ivan. Alfred never felt so good, even if it burned a little, he felt like he had died and gone to heaven.

The confession booth creaked from their efforts, the noises and Alfred's voice echoed throughout the empty church. Ivan gave it his all, relishing in the sounds he caused, enjoying his first time with a man. He never thought sex could feel so good and he never wanted to stop. He wanted to make love to Alfred for as long as possible, but all good things must come to an end. He could feel his climax coming quickly and he wished he had the energy to stave it off. Alfred felt the same, his own climax appearing far too soon for his liking. But neither of them could back down, they wanted it hard and fast, and in no time they were both clinging to each other as they came. Ivan's thick cock pumped cum deep into Alfred, while Alfred stained his robes with his own spunk. They moaned for each other and shivered as they both experienced a mind numbing orgasm.

When they were finished Ivan leaned down to kiss Alfred and Alfred kissed back happily. Ivan rocked his hips lazily, thrusting his seed deeper into Alfred, which made the other man shiver.

"How do you feel, Ivan?" Alfred asked.

"Like a new man."

* * *

***Yeah some things aren't accurate, but meh. I'd be more worried about how much a holy water bath will burn after this rather than accuracy lol And rape aint no joke. Dont do it.


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